Daily Schedule Advice from a Mom of Five
A couple of friends who just had their second babies asked me recently what my schedule looks like. They were feeling…overwhelmed. I’m grateful that when I was at that stage, I also had some mentors to turn to in order to help bring some order into the chaos. Having your first baby turns your life upside down, and having your second, well—it makes any mess messier, let’s just say. But it’s also a great time to start staking some claims on your time, setting boundaries, and designing some simple house management systems.
It’s really not as hard as it sounds. And things really improve when you decide to start somewhere.
Let’s work through it together.
Developing Your Simple Task List
The major tasks that you have to do a day include eating meals, taking care of your kids, house chores, and taking care of yourself. Of course, there may be many other things that you do, but those are the main ones.
So as a new mom, I would take out a piece of paper, or notebook, or day calendar, and make four columns with the following titles: meals, kids, chore, me.
Meals
List here what you will eat today, including what you will eat for lunch if you can.
Kids
List what you will need to do with your children today, any activities you’d like to do or playdate you have planned.
Chore
List one chore (other than washing dishes) that you need to get done today. Write beside the chore how long you would like to spend doing it.
Me
Put here in this list at least one self-care item (that could be taking a shower!) or if there is someone you need to call/email. Include in this column anything you need to do also for your husband.
And there you have it, a very simple way to get started organizing your life. Now, almost ten years later, I use the same system. I’ve added some extra things since I have more children and also homeschool now, but this type of scheduling is the bare bones of the one that I currently follow.
I would recommend using this simple system for a month so that it becomes a habit, then start adding other elements. Here is what I have added over the years.
Getting the chores done regularly
Regarding chores, I have a weekly chore system. So I have one day designated for every chore. I also have weekly, monthly, and yearly chores. In order to come up with your own rhythm of chores, I recommend sitting down and writing down all the chores that you have to do in a year. Then decide which ones you need done more frequently.
After three kids, my weekly chores looked like this:
Monday: Windows, dusting, water plants, general tidy
Tuesday: laundry
Wednesday: floors
Thursday: laundry
Friday: bathrooms
Saturday: laundry/outdoor
Sunday: rest
Now the important thing is that on each day, you limit the time you spend on a chore. For example, I don’t do more than twenty to thirty minutes of a daily chore. This way, I am not intimidated by the task and am sure to get it done. But because I only do it for a limited time, it’s likely I won’t be able to do everything. That’s okay. For example, on Monday, I have more tasks that I need to do than I have time for. I pick one or two tasks and the rest I will have to pass on to someone else or, leave it to the following week. Yes, it’s okay to leave tasks to a later time. That sounds taboo, but when you have a regular system you don’t have to worry about never doing the task at all. You will do it next time.
Keep in mind that all housework is neverending. Once you accept that, you will understand what I mean that you have to limit your time and accept that not everything can be done in a day, or even a week.
After five kids, my chores have changed up again, mostly because I have more of them, but also because my children have started helping out. I try to include my children as much as I can, but they are not old enough yet to have regular chores that I can really depend on. They do chores with me because I’ve asked them or otherwise to win rewards, or to win back time lost through poor behaviour. Chores that my children (5-7 years) help me with include emptying the dishwasher, folding clothes, taking clothes out of the dryer, setting the table, unsetting the table, cooking with me, watering the plants, washing the windows, and vacuuming.
scheduling time
As the children increase, so does the rarity of “spare” time. I put that in quotes because it really is so rare, that I have to make it up. There is no spare time. But, if you offload all the menu planning, playdate arrangements, and to-do lists onto a piece of paper, you can free up space in your brain to be a little more creative and a little more free. That might sound strange, but yes, scheduling and to-do listing makes me more free because I can make spontaneous changes when I already know what’s going on. If someone invites me to the park in the afternoon, I don’t have to fret because I already know what’s for dinner and that the most important things have been taken care of in my day—because I wrote them down in the morning.
I use a weekly and monthly schedule. The weekly schedule is for menu planning, and I keep it in a notebook in the kitchen, my central hub. The monthly schedule is for playdates and family events and I keep it on the wall in the kitchen. Everyone can see the schedule there and we can all add to it if need be. My husband and I also have a digital schedule so that if either of us makes an appointment, we share that appointment with the other and avoid scheduling conflicts that way.
My mother-in-law is in the habit, and I think it’s a great one, of sitting down with her husband every Sunday evening and discussing the week together with him. They tell each other the most important things that are happening for them and resolve any scheduling conflicts then if there are any.
In order to make my life feel less hectic, I take one day off a week from scheduling anything. On this day, I stay home and we have a more quiet day. This day is Monday for me because it lets me get a good start with our homeschooling and our weekly chores. It compliments the day off that I take on Sunday, where the only task that I do is make meals.
I’ve learned after having a second baby, that in order to feel more balanced in my life, I also need to carve out some time for my blue flame or special hobbies. Although I have no spare time, making the time for the things that I love to do gives me the spark of joy that brightens me up as a person and makes me a better mom. Mind you, these hobbies don’t take excessive time from my parenting, but they do complement it. Hobbies that I have enjoyed include writing, sports, reading, painting, and gardening. Please, take the time to find a little hobby, even if it is something that doesn’t seem very important at all. It will be good for your parenting!
Besides hobbies, I try to care of my close relationships. I schedule time to see family, friends, and to spend time with my husband. I think in this digital age, we may feel always connected to people because we interact with them often on social media. But social media is to in-person interactions like candy is to a good meal. You can’t live off of social media without quickly feeling isolated and empty. Although it takes effort to get out of the house, do it anyway. See the same people over and over again so you can build relationships. For now, I manage to see friends at least once a week.
You’ll know you’re getting the balance right with chores, kids, friends and self-care when you feel good about your life—not overwhelmed, but like your doing something difficult and doing it 80% well. Not perfectly, but pretty good.